Things I Tell Myself, #2.

poem #58.

58.

A long time ago, my boyfriend asked me: "How much do you weigh?"
I answered honestly, "140", and watched his eyes roll back in his head.

"That much!? REALLY?!?"

I just looked at him, silent, stinging, confused. (He didn't seem to
mind my body when he was inside it.)

"If I had control, you'd be 115."
Smirk. Sit back. Point made.

I should have slapped him, scratched out his eyes,
done womankind a favor. Instead, I laughed it off,
the cool girl, always. Say whatever you want,
treat me like shit, I don't care.
Later, in the bathroom, I cried until my stomach hurt,
until I'd convinced myself I was ugly down to my bones.

It took me years to understand that he was a blind man,
sleepwalking the narrowest path. Took me a while to know,
that if I undress for you, I am giving you a gift. That your
hands, tongue, and words should honor me.

It took me years to see that it gets better.
Years of choosing myself so I could choose wisely.
Choose someone who unwraps me carefully.
To choose the life where my breasts swing,
my thighs jiggle, my eyes shine, and I smile because

I am fully awake.

Sick day smoothie.

I'm fighting off a nasty cold, but thought I'd drop by to share this recipe with you. I like to drink this, along with lots of soup and hot tea, in a concentrated effort to flood my system with vitamin C. I didn't really measure. Combine ice, 1 peeled navel orange, 1/2 a blood orange, and 1/2 of one banana in a blender. Pulse a few times, until the ice and oranges are broken up. Then add 1 tsp. each of cinnamon and tumeric. If you have fresh ginger, throw a small chunk in. Blend on high, while adding coconut water to create the consistency you desire. Obviously, less makes a thicker drink and more makes something akin to juice. If you need to hide the bitter taste of the tumeric, add a bit of your preferred sweetener (I used stevia). And that's it!

I should also add that this is a great drink to have during flu/cold season, regardless of whether you're sick or not. Happy sipping, friends.

*If making this for a child, I'd recommend using a whole banana.

Things I Tell Myself, #1.