Monday, October 24, 2011

the door.

Every time I go for a walk or jog I pass by this really dilapidated shed/barn hybrid. It has the arched door you see above. The lock has been in that sideways position for as long as I've lived in the area, so apparently no one goes in or out.

So I basically want to break into the place now, just to see what's behind the door. I don't know. I'm a pretty decent citizen, but I've always had a fascination with entering places I'm not supposed to be in. Not to steal or vandalize, but just to look.

When I was a teenager I used to break into old abandoned houses, barns, once even a church (blasphemy!), again, just to have a look around. I was never caught, which is just sheer dumb luck on my part. I think there's a part of me that's always hoping to run into a ghost because I'm stupid.

Oh, speaking of the church. I did that one with a friend. It was all boarded up, but the boards were all rotted through, so we took one off of one window and climbed in. It was a really small, old church, almost like a one-room school house. But here's what I'll never forget: the entire place was black. At first I thought it was painted, but once my eyes had adjusted, I realized that there had been a fire at one time. All the old wooden pews were completely charred, as was everything else. It was incredibly eerie. Also cold, which is strange, considering this was the middle of the summer.

Now I'm a mother and want to set a good example, so I don't break into property that isn't mine anymore.

But I still want to.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Yesterday I was diagnosed with extremely severe anemia. I'm starting treatment and I will let you all know if I start to feel better.

This explains so much...why I've felt so incredibly tired and sick.

If any of you believe in God and would like to pray for me, I'd really appreciate it. <3

Sunday, October 9, 2011

slow weekend.

I've had the flu all weekend. I managed to get some chores done, sitting down in between each task.

Everything feels more surreal when you have the flu. You know what I mean--your head is sort of spinning. I felt like a leaf that could have blown away with the wind. I sat and watched the laundry ripple for a long time.

Our tree out front is finally changing color.

Sometimes I'll throw a blanket down and lay underneath it, especially on a windy day like this one. I like to lay in the spot where the sun shines through the leaves and blinds your eyes for a second at a time. I love that. It makes me think of glitter floating around in the air.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

If I could deliver these flowers to my friend Nina in person, I would.

Monday, October 3, 2011

i am disgusted/thankful.

art set--found out for the trash by the husband

I have been dumpster-diving and trash-picking for about 8 years and I still can not believe the things that people will throw away.