Sunday, March 20, 2011

i am painting...



Flowers. Because spring is here and all I can think about is gathering bouquets to bring indoors.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I am loving...

I need some lighthearted frivolousness. Here's what I'm loving this week.

-This photo:

source: film-grain.tumblr.com
-This painting:

Kim Gordon watercolor, source: pinterest.com
-This tea:

so. friggin. good.
-Kate Inglis's fantastically written blog.

-This writer and photographer.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

misplaced.

I'm about to whine. Ready yourselves.

I am twenty-four years old. I am a mother and a wife. I go to the grocery store, to the library, to the park. I make my rounds like anyone else. I just finished sewing a large, hobo-style bag. I just finished painting a canvas of some wildflowers in a vase.  I just ate toast with Nutella and had a late-evening cup of coffee--probably a bad idea.

Here comes the whiny part.

I cried myself to sleep last night. I know...as if anything else could make you feel more like a teenager again. The truth is: I am lonely. Oh God, I am so lonely. I'm sure that the real--and somewhat subconscious--reason I'm writing this is that I hope that some other stay-at-home-mommy, somewhere out there will read this and feel the same and comment and I won't feel so damn alone.

I've tried so hard to make friends with young women my age in this town and it.is.just.ridiculous.  They're all, "yeah I'm married but I like this guy I used to know back in high school", and "can you watch so-and-so for a minute? I need to take a leak and go have a ciggie". I don't know quite how to describe my situation without sounding like a complete snob.

Maybe that's what's missing. Maybe I am a complete snob and I haven't caught onto it yet.

I feel that I have nothing in common with anyone who lives in this area. I suppose it's the epidemic of any small town....not enough culture or open-mindedness or room to grow.  If you don't fit in this box I carry around then you're shit out of luck.

So weeks go by and I don't receive a single phone call from anyone at all just wondering how Brittany's doing. Because, let's face it, there isn't anyone to do the calling. I wish I could say that my family is dependable on that note, but I'd be lying. I don't know...is it selfish of me to want someone to think of me, to just wonder if I'm doing well? I mean, I think about everyone I know, maybe too much. I even think about people I know well online because hey, they're real too and I love them and I care about them.

All day long. Vince goes to work. Hayden sometimes goes to pre-K. I do my routine. I switch it up. I get fucking bored. I switch it up again. I pissily mix a bunch of paint together until it looks like mud. I dance. I cook something. I try to ignore my phone/doorbell that no one calls/rings. I think when you're really isolated, you can only keep yourself entertained for so long before...I don't know. Before you want to run away or scream or break every plate you own.

This is what it is to be misplaced. I am a fucking island floating in the middle of a gigantic fucking ocean and I am tired of ALL THIS FRIGGIN WATER.

And I am done whining now. Thank you and have a swell day.

Friday, March 11, 2011

japan: i honor you.

source: colourlovers.com
source: travel-destination-pictures.com
source: visitjapannow.com
source: phototravels.net
source: japanupdate.com
source: library2.binghamton.edu

I honor your beauty. I honor your people. I honor your unique culture and customs. It is my prayer that you find your way back to your loveliness.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

update.

The trip to Philly was overloaded with awesomeness. The hubs drove, we hopped around our hotel room like nut-jobs, we met Nina (amazing) and looked at her artwork (also amazing). We went out late with a group of 16 incredible/eclectic people and has sushi and wine and springrolls. We slept like logs, consumed by our freedom.

As I said, I'll be sharing more in due time. 

But for now, I'm going to spend the afternoon painting flowers, getting a little purposefully lost, and listening to this:


p.s.--
Did I mention I'm giving up reading books--except, of course, my Bible--for Lent? ......Yeah, wish me luck on this one.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

a little trip.

Tomorrow I am off into the urban wilderness that is Philadelphia, to meet the lovely, painterly Nina Schmidt. She's showing her new series at the Burlap and Bean Coffee House.

photo by Nina Schmidt
She is beautiful and down-to-earth and unbelievably talented. I can't wait to meet her. :)
I will definitely be back in a few days with pictures and stories.