I found this goldenrod, Cynthia Rowley sweater at the Salvation Army, and I have been living in it to a ridiculous degree. Then my subconscious decided to buy some wool in the same color. And yes, it actually took me a few minutes with this knitting in my lap to go "Oooooo look!"

In other news, my brain is fried due to Minecraft birthday party planning. Also, math. Maths. Algebraic formulas a.k.a. the work of Satan.

This is an Enderman. He has come to steal my home goods and take them back to the Nether.

I need more coffee.

7.

Sometimes, I get a sense-memory, an old one, the weight of you in my belly, and then in my arms, like a loaf of warm, heavy bread.

And then today, I look up and you are seven.

I am frightened of your growth. I am also smothering prideful smiles that sneak to my lips throughout the day. Never before has someone so much belonged to me.

Never before have I so much belonged to someone.

26.

Hayden turned six over the weekend. We threw a big party with a giant cake and homemade ice cream and green crepe paper strung up all over. Our house was bursting at the seams with family. Good times. Great times actually.

My husband and I were discussing how, in those first three (yes, three) sleepless years of Hayden's early life, we fantasized of making it to this time, this age, where he would still need us, but also be more independent. Oh, and sleep through the night. We looked forward to that too.

And here we are. I know every mother says this, but I can't believe that we're here. We made it. We have a beautiful, little happy family....such a challenging ride, but so worth it.

**Hop on over to my friend Willow's new website www.theivyplumcollection.com if you have a moment. She asked me to write a bit for it, and it really is the loveliest community of inspiring and creative women. Check it out!

those backward P's.

Is there anything better than a small boy ever-so-carefully scribbling away at his father's birthday card?

No, I really don't think there is.

One of the things I so looked forward to with having a child was thinking ahead to a time where we would create birthday cards and stories and pictures together. A child's writing is pure magic, in my opinion. All the little squiggly letters, backwards and inside-out.

I mean, c'mon. Look at that. Adorable. Even if you don't have children, even if you never want them, a handwritten "happy birthday" from a child is, I think, on the life list of best things ever, along with dark chocolate, amazing coffee, and handmade art.

The birthday was a success by the way. Just a small dinner at my mother's house, finished off with homemade whoopie pies in lieu of cake. I had two. I really didn't need that last one. At all. They sort of...stick with you, if you catch my drift.

The boy's birthday is in about two and a half weeks. He would like a Star Wars themed festival, replete with a Darth Vader cake and "music with dancing". I am tempted to break out the hula-hoop's. I only want one thing, and that is to not pull my neck out again or break my foot or crash my car, so that I can actually plan a fun gathering. Everyone please pray to your respective deities that this will work out.

25.

 

Happy Birthday to me.

he's FIVE.

I'm afraid I'll be too busy to post on Hayden's actual birthday, so I'm writing this now.

Five.  I think I've asked before--how did this happen?

hayden; feb 2011

And yet, my son is awesome at five, if I do say so. He's energetic and excitable and intelligent and seriously quirky. He loves trains and mommy's dark chocolate stash and going to the Salvation Army. He calls the leaves from japanese maples "tree stars".

tuckered out

For a few years, I thought a little brother or sister would be joining Hayden in his daily adventures. I know now that that might not be possible for me. But if Hayden is it, if he is my first and only child--I'll take that. It's more than enough. I am blessed to be his mother.

I also wanted to show you what I made for Hayden this year. I usually try to do that--make a gift. I find it a lot more meaningful than another plastic doo-dad from Target or Wal-Mart.

before

So I found this stool at the Salvation Army for under five dollars. All the finish was nearly worn away, which is perfect, and its construction is amazingly strong (I jumped up and down on it and it didn't wobble a bit). I'd been thinking Hayden needed a new stool for the bathroom, for help with teeth-brushing and hand-washing. I knew this was just right.

I brainstormed and looked at different colors for a while. Then I finally came up with this:

after

I sanded it lightly, painted it, applied the train image (found it in an antique railroad book), and lacquered it. I think it turned out wonderfully, better than I expected. I hope he likes it, although I'm sure he will. Another thing I love about Hayden is that he's delighted even when the gift in question isn't a toy. That and he's used to mommy making him odd things.

Off to the store I go for cupcake ingredients. <3

a birthday weekend.

On Sunday, the hubs turned 37.  Now, I'm a young pervert so I happen to think that he looks better the older he gets.  But men usually do, don't they?

Anyway...

I made these cupcakes at app. 10:30pm, on a heavy dose of Diazepam for my sprained neck. Challenging baking, I tell you. What we ended up with was devil's food with a white-chocolate-PB center, with a chocolate-PB ganache on top. Oh, and they're garnished with crushed Nutter-Butter's.

Hayden helped me make this garland...

and this sign. He did SO good with his letters!

And yours truly finally found a reason to wear the homemade dress. Oh, and...

purple tights. My favs.

Trust me when I say, we had an awesome time. It was just us and my immediate family. There are more pictures lying in wait on my husband's camera that I haven't gone through yet.

On another note, I've been working on a series of small paintings throughout all this sickness and injury we've been going through. I can't wait to show them to you all!

Just a little peek. Have a beautiful day!

Love and espresso shots,

Brit